Vampires & Veggieburgers

Not My Mummy
Uncle Robin et al scheme to bankrupt the bus

The bus crew face down Robin

Codicil

Elli begins to act on the prophecy in her vision, trying to retrieve the ancient text the “Codex Appollonius” that Jerome Willoughby had stolen. She (again) convinces her friends to take the bus to Devon to see how Patty’s great uncle is doing, but it doesn’t all go the same way.

The Italian chef Salvatore is even more annoyed about using the bus as a bus than he was in Elli’s vision, and Patty’s nonchalant reaction annoys him further. He leaves.

But retrieving the book starts off easier. Jerome asks for a private word with Elli, and invites her to retrieve all of his “overdue library books” (he says; she’s not so forgiving) for the Pythagoreans. But he’s lost the Codex Appollonius! Even though all his scrying points to it stll being in his home, he can’t find it.

When they get to Jerome’s home, it’s untouched by demon burglars, and Elli can look for the books whilst Patty goes through the cupboards to see what wonders she can cook up with what’s available, and goes for the (accidentally vegan) Beef & Tomato Flavour Pot Noodle.

Elli finds another seven books from the Pythagorean library, as well as something more disturbing. There are wards and crafted magical artefacts (such as a ring that should detect lycanthropes) that seem to have been drained of their magic. And the Codex is nowhere to be seen.

She borrow’s Jerome’s components for a spell of location, which points to the library. But it’s not there. A repeated spell narrows it down to a single stack, but it’s not there. She can’t find any hidden shelves. Patty and Katrina help her empty the stack, and Katrina says she thinks she saw a bigger book in the middle of her pile for a moment … but it’s not there any more.

Elli gives up and calls her teacher the Mathematikos for help. He suggests that the codex’s accretion of magical wards are hiding it from magic-addicted Jerome. And when Elli tries simply reassuring the Codex that she means it no harm, a large book appears in the middle of Katrina’s pile -with metal clasps and a title in Greek letters. The Codex Appollonius. Which Elli takes back to London, and cycles with it all the way to the Pythagorean HQ.

Vegan Food Market, Brewer Street, Northern Quarter, Manchester

Sat 5th August

Elli’s old activist Susan Campbell helped arrange their stall at a vegan food market she was assistant managing in Manchester. So they’re setting up with sausage rolls and “Patty’s Patties”.

But evil wizard Robin Willoughby has kidnapped the event manager, is magically impersonating him, and replaced Susan Campbell with an ally. His new assistant, who calls herself Stacey, has blonde hair, an American accent, and a leather jacket (which everyone assumes is fake). She piques our heroes interest with her swirly tattoos and a thin red line round her neck and throat.

So when Robin-as-manager says hello, he offers magically laced chocolate butternut doughnuts (which our heroes take), and says he hasn’t heard anything from Susan, suggesting they investigate.

He knows what they’re going to find. A body in Susan’s bed, somewhere between burnt and mummified. When Elli and Katrina search the place, with a combination of Elli’s telekinesis and Katrina’s physical force, Elli also finds a geometric pattern burnt around the window and some blue powder.

Calling Matthew at The Council, he gives them the password to access the occult collection at the nearby John Rylands Library for research.

Library

The John Rylands Library

This time, Patty accompanies Elli instead. But barely has the librarian escorts them to the occult collection, when the butternut kicks in and Patty shifts to werebadger. The librarian double-takes, but Elli casts a swift illusion spell to hide the change before she panics. And the librarian, somewhat disturbed, heads back.

Back in the room, after another call with her Mathematikos for advice, she sings softly to Patty to calm her back to human before returning to research. He also hints that the Codex contains interesting thoughts on the “Manipulation of Platonic Forms”.

Elli’s research points her (as Robin intended all along) to mummies that drain the life force from victims, leaving them looking something between burnt and mummified. These undead creatures are formed by ritual sacrifices, but magically bound. There’s a marginal note about an Incan example that appeared in Sunndydale California in the 1990s.

Stacey’s tattoos are reminiscent of iron age Britain, which has its own share of bodies ritually sacrificed, decapitated, and preserved in peat, including near Manchester

As for the geometric burn at the window, this could be one of several open door spells – such as one that a writer called Enophagus traces down to the Scriptorium of Rhodes. (Patty think’s she’s found a spell too, but Elli points out that the door it opens is to a hell dimension.)

Confrontation at the Market

Once back at the market, Patty tries to investigate further. She acts to return the doughnut “favour” by offering them some sausage rolls. She admires Stacey’s tattoos and gets her to roll up her sleeves for a pic (which Stacey, as a fake mummy, is happy to do). She hugs both “organisers” and takes a big sniff (with her enhanced badger-senses). She doesn’t pick up on Robin being Robin, but she easily notices that Stacey’s leather jacket is a real leather jacket – not something that a vegan food fair organiser should be wearing.

The tattoos further confirm Elli’s belief that Stacey is a peat bog mummy.

To trick Stacey into the bus, Elli tells her she’s pulling out of her hurdy-gurdy performance because she’s so upset about Susan, but invites her onto the bus to talk about it.

Katrina and Elli try to corner her on a table on the top of the bus, challenging her about the leather jacket (the most obviously glaring exception). Stacey stonewalls, saying it’s none of their business, and she only stopped into help at the last minute. For a moment, it looks like they’ll come to blows. But Katrina allows her to squeeze past her and down the stairs.

When things are a little quieter, Elli follows, making all her accusations, and quizzing Robin-disguised-as-organiser about what Stacey is doing there. Once a couple of people are filming, and Elli is waving her hands close enough, Stacey flips backwards dramatically as if Elli had forcefully punched her (a stunt a normal human wouldn’t be able to pull off.) And Robin-as-organiser tells Elli she’d better leave.

And Robin begins using the viral video of the incident, and the organiser’s contacts and status in the vegan movement, to undermine The Stake Out’s bookings.

Confronting Stacey

The market site is a car park, across the road from a budget hotel and next to the canal. Elli waits in the hotel café, where Patty and Katrina join her after business shuts down.

Logically enough, it’s also the hotel where Stacey is staying – right across from the site. Helped by another of Elli’s illusions, disguising them as staff, they follow Stacey upstairs to her room. Where they try to follow her in, claiming to be “room service”.

Stacey is having none of it. Stacey blocks Katrina with a punch. Patty tries to kick her in the knees, but she jumps out of the way.

Then Stacey is hit by a kettle from behind – one of the objects that Elli is telekinetically throwing at her, forcing her to turn around. Stacey somersaults over the bed. With one motion she lands, opens a box with her palm, grabs a pistol with the other, and fires.

The shot misses Katrina, and Elli manages to freeze Stacey with another spell. Patty(?) throws the gun out of the window, and our heroes have a chance to question her and search the room before the police arrive.

Stacey is confident and mocking. But searching the room, they find evidence of fake tattoos, and multiple identities. Matthew at The Council confirms two of these as known cover identities of Victoria Aspen, mercenary slayer.

This is a slayer pretending to be a mummy. But our heroes suspect ???.

Patty takes an expanding staff from Patty’s weapons cache before throwing it out of the window, into the internal courtyard below. (Which is now the source of shocked shouting.)

Our heroes leave just as the police arriving, disguised by another illusion from Elli.

Suburban Planning

By now, most of The Stake Out’s upcoming bookings have cancelled, but as Patty puts it, that’s “tomorrow’s problem”. They decide to pretend to leave for London, park in a suburb, and plan.

Patty goes through Stacey’s ‘phone, and manages to find a few messages with Robin hinting at the mission – how they have “bagged” the real organiser, how "our sponsor’s substitute Susan will really rile them", “trust me, this is what a mummy looks like”, and the price of “$4000, $6000 if the artefact is obtained post-bankruptcy”.

When Elli gets an email supposedly from Susan Campbell herself, who has supposedly simply woken up in her own bed with no knowledge of her demise, she dismisses it as a trap.

Vegan Food Market, Brewer Street, Northern Quarter, Manchester

Sun 6th August 2017

They drive the bus straight into the vegan fair, and see the organiser in the middle. They’re not sure if the organiser is a doppleganger, or being mind-controlled, or something else, but Elli opens by throwing a vial from the bus down at his feet – the final component of a spell to lift the veil. And Robin is revealed.

Elli quickly uses her freeze spell again. Robin has the long stems of a plant wound around him, and entering his ears. She recognises it as Jath’tog Mandrake – a semi-sentient plant that throws illusions around its predatory mobile seed, and is used by Jath’tog demons to cast powerful illusions that can impersonate a captured victim.

But she knows the rest of the plant must be nearby.

Patty has a proper sniff of the mandrake, and has a scout around the area until she smells more Jath’tog mandrake at a crumbling corner of the hotel near the canal. So our heroes sneak into the staff-only basement, and the corner room where the root is growing around the semi-conscious form of the real organiser.

They cut him loose, and bring him up to date. He’s unsurprisingly grateful, and quick to try to reverse the damage done by his impersonator.

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The Akousmatikos
A Pythagorean initiation, and demon gladiators

Three people in cosplay - ponytailed slayer, rehaired witch, and trendy martial artist
The players turned up to this session cosplaying their characters

July 2017

Sunday 15th

The Council doesn’t have any parking spaces, so our heroes have to park Stake Out bus a kilometre away, and carry their evidence of Terralith Eco scheming through the underground corridors and security doors themselves.

Their reception is underwhelming. It’s Sunday, and only Rhys Lynford is in. He is so awkward and shifty around them (and clumsy with the 5l of blood) that they don’t trust him with their other bit of evidence – the vial of clear liquid.

As Freja’s friends head their separate ways, Katrina’s daughter decides to head to relatives in Luleå, close to the arctic circle, where the short nights will put paid to any vampires.

Saturday 21st

The moon is new, and Elli is standing before the mouth of a cave in a rough cotton gown, lit by her Pythagorean comrades holding torches. She’s beginning her initiation into the next level of the mysteries of the Pythagoreans.

So she steps forward into the darkness. Slowly, she sees two dots approaching. Then she realises they are eyes. Who belong to …

Blair, swearing her, reminding her how she held him tight with a spell whilst Patty ripped him to pieces, and mainly how they were terrible vegans for not letting him cut a swathe of death through the industries that exploit animals and their apologists.

She calmly sighs, and when he physically attacks her, she deflects him with her warding hand spell, twisting and turning as he comes at her from all dimensions.

Until Blair is slain, dispersing into glowing red translucent swirls, by a centaur.

Fresco of Chiron on Centaur
Chiron teaching Achilles, Roman mosaic

Elli recognises the Cenatur as Chiron, most learned of his kind and teacher of Greek heroes. He warns her of grave challenges ahead, and grants her a vision of where the ancient Apollonius Codex is – in the house of Jerome Willoughby, who stole it from the Pythagoreans many years ago.

Chiron throws his torch towards the exit to the cave. Her fellow cultists raise theirs, showing Elli her way out of the cave.

Or so Elli thinks. But in reality, she’s still in….

Elli’s continuing vision

Elli convinces Patty to take Stake Out back to Devon to see her Uncle Jerome, who was injured fighting with them against vampires. Patty also arranges a booking there for Stake Out. Plus, they can pick up Salvatore (who stayed behind in Devon).

Devon

In Torbay Hospital, Patty’s uncle Jerome is convalescent, weak, and easygoing. But the potted plants around him are dead – almost as if his recovery involves sucking the life-force out of them.

Nudged somewhat by Elli, Patt, Elli & Katrina offer to get his clothes from his home on Dartmoor.

But Jerome’s home is a mess. There’s been a fight there, with door and window frames broken, and magical burns and disruptures to the walls and fittings. One tattered page that Elli recognises as the Appollonius Codex is on the floor – an ancient text on transformations of forms with commentaries in Arabic and Hebrew. There are large animal scales, and wooden swords, and miniature bronze palm fronds.

Elli finds more Pythagorean books that Jerome has been illicitly holding on to, but Patty takes a very dim view of her taking them. Still, Elli keeps hold of the single page.

They nip back to the hospital to confront Jerome about the fight. He pleads ignorance, but also says that Elli can take the Pythagorean books back that he “borrowed”.

They drive back to his home (which the best part of an hour of winding lanes on Dartmoor), to continue their investigation.

Leafing through a medieval Goetia, Elli identifies the scales as Oriax demons. And the badges – the miniature short sword and fronds – are part of the symbols of the Cult of Mavak’lar, gladiator fanatics whose preferred way of sacrificing to Mavak’lar is with a fight to the death.

Map of Roman Britain

Patty researches Roman Devon online, and finds a couple of old Roman towns within a 100km. The nearest old Roman structure is Exeter, once a Roman fort, but the nearest remains of amphitheatres would be further along in English Channel in Dorchester, or across the Severn into Wales. (See southwest of the map)

Going through Jerome’s library, Elli manages to find the supplies and incantation for a location spell. She sets up the candle and an ornately carved spinning disk, and Patty sets up the map on her iPad. The candle’s light moves through the disk, and points at the old fort in Newport, Wales.

But Elli is tired. She fasted for the initiation, and although she thinks she’s had food and rest since then, she’s hasn’t.

She doesn’t control the magical energies, and they pour through, frying Patty’s iPad in a burst of flame. Ah well, at least she still has her mobile. (Or would, if she wasn’t a figment of Elli’s imagination.)

They consider waiting, but Elli is worried that Oriax demons are not big on learning, and
may simply sacrificing the book. So they take the 90-minute bus ride to Newport, wales, by which time it’s late at night.

Caerleon / Isca Silurum / Elli’s vision

The remains of the Caerleon amphitheatre is in fields, not far from the village of Caerleon. So they park in the tourist spaces across from it.

But the amphitheatre is hidden behind mists – and our heroes can only hear cries and shouting beyond. As they draw closer, they can glimpse 2-3 metres of stone foundations / ground floor, and wooden superstructure above it. The structure appears translucent in parts, as if clouds are passing through it.

Patty checks her ’phone, and shows what the amphitheatre is actually expected to look like:

Somehow, the cult (or Mava’klar) has conjured a phantom amphitheatre.

The trio follow the wall round to an arched entry way, which goes up wooden steps into … the seating, and a row of Oriax demons.

Behind the wall, Elli listens as the Oriax demon with the biggest voice, on the opposite side of the amphitheatre, interrogates another captured demon … T’soudina. The Byblos demon pleads that without magic, he wouldn’t put up a very interesting fight.

Patty moves forward to poke her mobile phone around the corner, so she can take a look at what’s going on. But she fumbles her ‘phone, and it bounces loudly from one step to the next, cracking as it goes, the focus of the scaly crowd’s attention.

Swiftly, Elli casts an illusion to enable Patty to step gingerly out … as a demon. She waves awkwardly as she steps down to retrieve at least her SIM. With the attention on Patty, Katrina risks a peep, to see the chief of the Oriax, on his dais across the arena, saying he’ll pick an opponent of around T’Soudina’s level. And pointing at Patty.

The stress has triggered her transformation, beneath the disguise – but she doesn’t have opposable thumbs in were-form and her attempts to pick up and hold weapons further amuse and puzzle the crowd – while she stalls for time..

Elli decides to rush round to the chief demon in the hope of grabbing the book, hoping to distract them with (i) Patty, and (ii) setting fire to the wooden superstructure.

Katrina and Elli find that the wooden steps exit a few metres from the chief Oriax. The tattered Codex Appollonius is there, next to a robed demon. Elli telekinetically makes the Codex Appollonius drift towards her, scarcely escaping the clutches of a couple of demons, still chanting the song that maintains Patty’s illusion.

The corridor is only two demons wide, and Katrina grabs one approaching demon, twists his arm, seizes his sword, and parries a swipe from another Oriax with it. She holds them off as Elli races out.

But Elli isn’t as fast as the Oriax, and some of them are coming out the arches to her right and left. And her spells are failing now – her first shout of ‘incendere’ only succeeds in setting fire to the ground around her, and she has to gather her best efforts to set the superstructure ablaze.

When Patty emerges the demons clear a path from her. She’s already bleeding from a deep gash in the story (from when Elli stopped singing and demons attacked). But now Patty barrels towards Katrina, and Elli sees the glazed eyes of some magically deprived of their full senses.

Elli tries to stand between them, but Patty pushes her saide.

T’soudina, no longer imprisoned, emerges from the curved amphitheatre walls, turns to the amassing demons and offers “a lycanthrope versus a slayer”. It’s his spell.

Katrina tries to restrain Patty – but she gets her arms bitten. She tries to hold a sword to her neck to restrain her.

As they fight, she gets a phone call. From T’Soudina, who offers to end the enchantment and let them escape if she’ll hand cover the Codex. Elli dismisses him and hangs up.

Mustering her best efforts, Elli dispells the charm placed on Patty. And hugs her.

But our heroes are still facing a large demon army. Before the end, Elli remmebers to throw the Codex Appollonius into the fire. It explodes, throwing her …

… back into reality

The comes through a shower of petals, and out of the cave, surrounded by Pythagoreans holding torches and vegan cake.

“What?” she repeats, dazed and weak, muttering about Pamela in Dallas. She spends much of the post-initiation celebration staring into space. Until she gets a text.

“How did the initiation go?” texts Patty.

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Undead Dorm Depot
Stumbling across the vampire slave labour force

Helicopter Behind Bus

July, 2017

The Sunflower Staff van

Despite Patty turning into a were-Badger, only one of the vampires turns up to have a sniff. Patty decapitates him in a single move, and the van drives on for another quarter of an hour.

It drives into an old brick warehouse. The driver gets out and starts to roll up the door at the back of the van, before he sees the lycanthrope and double-takes. Misunderstanding, he shouts to his supervisor that one of the workers has “gone full vampire!”.

The depot supervisor is Kelly Tibbens, an ambitious Terralith Eco manager using vampire labour force to cut costs. She pokes her head round the corner, and shouts to close the door.

This doesn’t buy much time – Patty tears the van door off, and keeps hold of it in her claw, using it as a shield. All through this, the remaining vampires stay sat down in the van, ignoring the ruckus.

The vehicle area is caged off from the main part of the warehouse where the supplies are kept. The depot used to be a factory, and there are two stories of offices against the far wall.

Kelly has bought enough time to get the offices. But the driver hasn’t, and is quickly grabbed by were-Patty & Katrina. “Please, please, don’t eat me” he begs incoherently. He quickly points the finger at Kelly as the cost-cutting supplier of the new cheap undead labour force.

The office door and windows are reinforced – Patty only manages to dent it. On the other side, Kelly is making a phone call.

Vampire Dorms

The three tie up the driver, and unable to get through the bottom door, try the metal staircase leading up to the top floor of the offices.

The door isn’t locked, and it gives way to an unkempt dorm room, with half a dozen bunk beds and a door at the end.

That door gives way to a similar room, but this one is full of labourers drinking from the familiar cylinders, some chatting, and some resting. Katrina mutters that they’re all vampires.

But nevertheless, as our trio of sorceress, were-Badger, and slayer walk through the room to the door at the far end, they are ignored.

And that door gives way to another room of vampires. There are two big differences: a trap-door at the far end, and some of the vampires are beginning to wake up.

Surrounded by a dozen vampires it’s an unequal fight.

Arms grab and punch at our heroes, even Patty. Elli begins singing her spell of protection, so fiercely that she succeeds in knocking back three vampires who were advancing on her.

Katrina and Patty manage to beat some of them off, but not even Katrina manages to stake any before they make their way to the trap door.

Patty claws through it with her feet. Katrina jumps down into the darkness. It’s a storage room, and she finds the lightswitch and a couple of ladders before putting one of them against the trapdoor for the others.

Elli manages to get down onto the ladder and onto Katrina’s shoulders to keep pointing her spell at the door.

Patty tries to use the van door to cover their retreat (and the trapdoor), but is grabbed. Katrina manages to get pull her down.

In the chaos, a couple of vampires manage to follow them down before Elli, still singing her warding spell, manages to maneuvre to block the trapdoor. But Patty and Katrina manage to knock them out and dust them before retreating through the next door.

Blocking the door behind them, they look through the other offices & kitchens. Kelly has fled – there’s an open door leading to the rear of the warehouse. They quickly take some files about ‘Project Rudolph’ and ‘Rudolph Blood Factor’ from the office, and (from the extra fridge in the kitchen) 5l of blood and a vial of clear substance.

Outside the Depot

Patty follows Kelly’s scent outside, but quickly loses it. However it’s a fair guess that she went around the building to the front. Their mobiles tell them they’re in a tiny industrial estate near the hamlet of Morley, set about a kilometre from a main road.

There’s a man at the front of the building trying to get their attention, but after much hesitation (and waiting for Patty to calm down and return to human form), he turns out to be a driver trying to pick up fruit and veg. After they quiz him claiming to be looking for tomatoes for their food truck, he heads off.

As he drives off, they hear a helicopter approaching. The three take cover under one of the vans parked outside the depot.

It lands in the car park, and the demon Tsoudain’a gets out, accompanied by numerous security. He opens the door and enters the depot, angrily interrogating the driver and summoning Kelly back to the warehouse..

After Kelly returns, he puts together what happened, and arranges to send someone to Dharmafest to take care of the witnesses to the vampire attacks.

So this settles it – they have to get back.

After much muttering about when, if, and how, Patty beings to lose her control and revert to were-form. This brings things to a head, and Elli manages to disguise them as rabbits as they run for cover.

Once Patty has calmed down, they manage to hitchhike back to Dharmafest with a friendly old couple.

Dharmafest, Friday

In desperation to protect their friends, they decided to take the bus out of Dharmafest straight away.

They also see Santakaashraman, the Dharmafest security chief. But they don’t tell him the full story, and he doesn’t see what he can do about things that are happening outside of Dharmafest. Nor is he very convinced by the threat of a local invasion – there are a few local kids every year.

At the bus, Salvatore, the chef, argues vigorously for keeping the cafe at the festival over the weekend (even if others leave) and stays behind as they set off.

But unbeknownst to them, someone was watching the bus leave Dharmafest.

Bus vs Helicopter

Katrina drives the bus in the direction of London, and has 10-15 minutes of driving to do on country roads before it gets to the motorway. And the helicopter appears over the horizon.

When it gets closer, Katrina starts unexpectedly swerving the bus from side to side. When Elli asks what Katrina’s doing, they realise that she’s seeing illusory obstacles – cars on the wrong side of the rode and concrete blocks.

T’soudina is throwing illusions from the helicopter to make them crash.

Elli calls The Council and gets hold of Matthew Parks. But he says they’ve no resources in Devon apart from an old watcher there.

It’s only when T’soudina trick a group of cyclists into a collision that the wheels begin to lose traction on the tarmac.

Meanwhile, one of the black-bodysuited security guards rappels onto the top of the bus. Katrina swerves to lose him, and the front left wheel gets stuck in the hedge.

The bus is now stuck.

Several more agents drop from the helicopter and are catching up. Katrina gets out to beat back the guard (pictured) and look at the problem, but manages to jump back in, adjust the gearing, and reverse out of the hole.

As the bus pulls away, some of the agents draw pistols, blowing out the bus’s tires. It slows down, sparks flying along the road. But that’s enough to outrun agents and get to the next village, Wenly Cross.

Thinking they’re safer in public, they stop the bus by the Red Lion pub. (Patty, who has gone back to were-form, waits in the bus.)

Whilst they’re trying to sort out a vegan food, T’soudina walks in, in full, darkness-in-humanoid-shape demon-form.

He calmly announces he’s going to wipe their memory.

From behind them, the publican loudly shouts “You’re barred.”

Some of the patrons try to run. But Elli stands firm, hoping to deflect the spell. Magical sparks fly. And T’soudina, perhaps because he’s cast so many tears already, can be turned back.

He politely apologises for forgetting why he came into the building, turns around, and walks out.

Coda

The police arrive, and then the aforementioned old Watcher (one Rupert Giles), who helps them smooth things over with the police. And then they head on to London

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Dharmafest
Vampires strike near a summer festival

Papercraft model festival

July, 2017

A Wednesday

Stake Out is catering for Dharmafest, a very hippy summer festival. It’s vegetarian, it’s alcohol-free, and it’s Buddhist. And it’s in a woody valley in the Devon countryside. Our heroic trio are even camping in the woods.

Elli is much more in her element – she’s been there before. Patty is non-plussed, and Katrina’s rather more interested in her 18-year-old daughter Freya’s new boyfriend. He’s doing massages there, and has convinced Freya to come along.

But Freya is already trying to escape. She finds some like-minded people and heads off to walk to the nearest pub, in the village of Knockton. (Her mum is in the parade to the opening ceremony when she tells her.)

The opening ceremony, led by a trumpeter in a marching-band top, is a mix of new age neo-paganism (which Elli joins in) and Buddhism (which she doesn’t). And afterwards, Elli arranges a performance slot for her hurdy-gurdy. She’s in her element.

Wandering around, Katrina investigates “Tat and Treasure”, a bric-a-brac and kombucha stall. They say the friendly stallholder Seamus owes his reddish leathery skin to severe burns some years ago, but that doesn’t look right to Katrina. Weirdly, when she sits down, there’s a stool just behind her.

When an elderly customer passes Katrina and hobbles out, he surprises everyone by calling out “Patty!”.

The elderly customer turns out to be Jerome Willoughby, great uncle to Patty (who was just passing by). (Flashback: Patty’s mum has mentioned his terminal progressive neuropathy before.) It turns out he lives nearby, is also into the mystic arts, and is at the festival for all the stuff you can’t get elsewhere. (By this point, Patty has stopped trusting her extended family.) And Seamus is Shamma-Teshup, “a demon, but one of the friendly ones”, and stallholder of magical trinkets. (“Such a prejudiced term, I prefer ultraterrestial”, adds Seamus.)

Seamus’ more exotic items, he now declares, include that stool that’s always there for you, a harmonica of calming, and a handbag of holding, and others. And he can tell that Katrina is a slayer. (“You got a bit of a demon about you.”)

The rest of the day at Dharmafest is less eventful.

But Freya and her drinking friends aren’t as lucky. On the way back, passing through a field of strawberries, they greet farmworkers who turn out to be vampires. Freya remembers what one of the “creepy men” that tried to get Katrina to embrace being a slayer said, and manages to lead most of her friends to a chapel, where they hold the vampires at bay with crucifixes.

Most of her friends. Bar two.

Thursday, dawn

At first light, Freya emerges from the forest with her surviving friends, bruised and scratched and terrified, and heads straight for the bus. Salvatore (the chef) blearily searches out the wild campers.

And so the trio leap into action:

  • The top deck of the bus is cleared so that Freya and her friends can rest
  • They head to Tat & Treasure to pick up Seamus for their vampire hunt -

- which doesn’t go according to plan. He offers to sell them a double-mirrored eyepiece (to help detect vampires) for £20. But rejects any assumption he should come with – “you need to talk to Jerome for that”.

“What’s in it for me?” he asks. “I don’t punch you.” says Patty.

At that, the two stone dogs guarding Tat & Treasure come to life, and one of them spits fire at Patty. She drops and rolls whilst friends her friends apologise for her.

So Katrina buys a double-mirrored eyepiece (Seamus now charges double), and they head to Jeremy’s caravan in the festival’s disabled area.

When Elli meets him, she sees the gold leaf around his neck that marks him another Pythagorean – but he (she remembers) was thrown out of the Pythagoreans after disappearing with the priceless text ‘Codex Appollonius’. His tells her his version of the story, that he needed its spells to fight the forces of darkness – “you know”, he says, “what the elders can be like”.

Jerome’s long warm-up exercises include charms to protect himself from his symptoms – eg against falling over. It’s when Elli notices that the tree he was leaning against isn’t alive any more that she starts to keep her distance.

Thursday Morning

So they accompany Freya, retracing her steps. Jeremy shows himself an experienced (if desensitised to the point of callousness) vampire hunter. They discover an older body (Mikhael Patriniche), investigate the deserted woodland chapel, and discover the drained bodies of Freya’s two friends, Jane and Matthew. (“It will not rise again”, says Jeremy, characteristically.)

In the strawberry field, they talk to the day shift labourers picking and packing. One of them speaks good enough English to point them to a nearby farmhouse where managers live.

After much debate, the five approach the farmhouse (with Elli casting a spell cast to give them illusory suits), and pose as concerned locals to talk to the woman who answers the door. She’s a friendly, slightly posh, somewhat 1950s (and not in an entirely good way) middle-aged woman who manages much of the surrounding farmland with her husband. They work for Leafwood Corporation, who owns much of the land (and leases the rest, including theirs). And she also hands over a card for the “gangmaster” (employment agent) for the labourers, “Sunflower Staff”.

They immediately get to searching the landowner’s company records on their mobiles for links to Terralith Eco. They find nothing. But when Jerome asks about “Sunflower Staff”, he finds they are part of the processed food subsidiary of Terralith Eco.

So our heroes decide to return in the evening to set watch. And Elli, who has seen Jerome drain a few more trees, gives him an even wider berth.

Thursday Afternoon

Before they grab any sleep, Seamus confronts Elli with a claim of magic items being drained – the bag, the harmonica. Elli points out she wouldn’t touch an ivory harmonica anyway, and suggests Jeremy. But Seamus knows and trusts Jerome.

When told about the killings, the festival’s peace-keeper in chief, Santakaashraman, doesn’t see it as a festival issue, tragic as it is, but does spread word to the wild sleepers to come into the festival site.

Thursday Evening

Behind the trees, Katrina looks through her eyepiece at the night shift. They are, indeed vampires. The trio creep up on the vampires and their trailer, aided by a silence spell – and the distraction caused by Jerome haphazardly teleporting towards them.

Jerome summons forth a jet of flame from his hands, turning two of the vampires into dust – but also burning hand in the process, as he fails to control the arcane energies. And he’s swiftly buried under two more vampires.

Katrina’s instincts kick in. With a stake-stick in each hand, she moves through the vampires, round the trailer and conveyer, turning one after another into dust with single blows.

Jerome, about to be bitten by vampires, chants another spell to get away, but it misfires again, and he reappears atop one of the trees, broken and unmoving.

Katrina works her way through the vampires that had grabbed Jerome, and the one Patty was squaring off against, leaving the one that’s fighting Elli.

For a moment, it looks like Elli’s staked her vampire – but the stake didn’t go far enough in. Leaving the stake sticking through his dirty tracksuit jacket, she somersaults over him, and kicks him over so that he lands on his front, pushing it further in. But her throws her off, and she lands in a messy heap in the trailer of strawberries.

The vamps pins her down

- and is kicked in the crotch by Patty, giving Katrina a chance to grab the vampire for questioning.

The vampire only says “Give me blood!” in an Eastern European accent. They find a set of cylinders under the trailer, identical to Blair’s, which the vampire clutches at when he sees.

Elli tries to remember a translation spell, but Patty remembers a translation app on her phone first. In translation, the vampire mentions, in brief sentences in between asking for blood, how he’s brought to the farm for work every day, and how he originally game to Britain as a mortal.

Someone is apparently turning migrants into enslaved vampire workers.

More victim than evil predator, Katrina hesitates to kill him, until he makes to escape. Then he returns to dust.

After retrieving Jerome’s unconscious form and making sure he gets an ambulance, they return to the trailer. Keeping watch in shifts, the trio hide under the pile of strawberries.

Friday Dawn

Just before dawn, they hear a van pull up. The day shift get out, chatting to themselves. The driver calls someone about the missing night shift, and the strawberries are loaded onto trays in the back of the van. With a bit of magical help from Elli, they make it into the back without being spotted. (Unsurprisingly for a van that carries vampires, there’s a solid metal sheet between the driver and the back.)

The van drives for fives minutes and a couple of fields before stopping at another field (one they’d seen in the distance). More strawberries are loaded. And seven labourer vampires get one, crouching down and drinking from their flasks.

And finally, after not being triggered all through the fight, her lycanthropic instincts kick in, and Patty grows into a were-badger.

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The Orphan
Patty loses an aunt and gains a brother

Spoiler Warning: This is based on Orphan Trouble, the adventure in the Buffy/Angel RPG supplement Magic Box .

Various cardboard figures fighting amongst columns

The final confrontation in St. Mildrith Community Centre

Meet William

The bus rolls into Patty’s home village of Gyote St Mildrith, to prepare for the village fair. Patty, Elli, and new hire Katrina Linberg stay with Patty’s parents. Hours after they arrive, the home is disrupted by the tragic accidental death of Patty’s maternal aunt.

Patty’s parents were godparents to the aunt’s recently adopted son, and so Patty’s family return from the funeral (in County Durham, the other end of England) with a new brother, Billy. (Patty’s plan to take the bus is turned down.)

Patty throws herself into the role of big sister, sharing her old games console. Freya’s daughter recently left home, and Katrina compares Billy to her as “sweet, deeply loving, and slightly rumbunctious.”

But Billy is very rumbunctious. He runs through the house opening drawers, including Elli’s magical accoutrements. He break’s Patty’s game controller. When playing with kids, he’s accused of pushing a girl.

And Patty’s parents are uncharacteristically lenient. They don’t just tolerate the behaviour, and get him a puppy (her dad had been thinking about it for a while), but force the girl to apologise for “lying”.

Patty tries to get the boy counselling, and initially her welcomes her mother’s chilled out style. But when Elli tries to raise him going through her stuff, Patty’s mum reminds her she’s a guest in Billy’s home, and repeats his suspicions about some of the “black magic” stuff she found.

In private, Elli begins to call him a “demon child”, and the trio start to consider leaving.

Mother-daughter werebadger rumble

Things come to a head the following morning. Elli finds a spider in her shoe and, more seriously, marbles on the stairs.

Billy had played very roughly with the puppy, and Patty has to go hunting for her. When she finds her loitering in Elli & Patty’s room. Looking closely, she finds scratches. That’s when she decides they’re leaving. With the puppy.

Confronting her mum in the kitchen, her mum doesn’t take things well. Mum loses her temper, growing into .. a werebadger. (It’s hereditary.)

There follows a struggle to get out with the puppy without hurting anyone. Dad and Katrina (who is still being very defensive of Billy) try to guard Billy.

Were-mummy blocks off the front door.

Patty is tripped up by some toy cars (that, Katrina notices, were not there a few moments earlier), and is held down, prone, by her mother. At this point she goes badger.

Elli grabs the puppy with one hand and holds Were-mummy off with a spell with the other.

Then, to get Were-mummy off Elli, Katrina jumps onto the were-badgers back and manages to restrain her. This buys the time for everyone to leave.

A Slayer? You’re hired permanently!

On the way to regroup at the bus, they notice a weird man with a black/gold medallion watching them.

They regroup at the bus, and introduce themselves properly. Patty explains about her family history, Elli about the Pythagoreans, and Katrina describes her awkward history of odd men nagging her about being a slayer.

This provokes comments of “That’s useful” and “You’re hired permanently”, off a worried look from Katrina.

They crash with Patty’s old friend Charlie the publican, and make a start on research. Patty discovers that her relatives all describe him as “sweet, deeply loving, and somewhat rambunctious”, and the adoption agency had already shut down. Although the underworld is not short of powers to pass as human and/or mind control, Elli persuades her fellow Pythagoreans to give her a spell to reveal all magical effects.

Katrina notices the weird man out of the window, and the three give chase. After a while, and a series of spells to befuddle, escape, and avoid them, they manage to grab a few words. He sneers that they should stop interfering, and blames his family from excluding him, before teleporting away.

Sand in the Carpet

Next, they visit Patty’s home again, noticing missing cat posters on the way – and an ambulance arriving. Her dad is being carried out on a stretcher. He fell down the stairs and broke a leg, and although Mr. Hakuta is sanguine, one of the paramedics comments that it could have been much worse.

Whilst Katrina and Patty go into the kitchen with Patty’s mum, Elli tries to prepare her ritual with a circle of sand.

But Billy swiftly runs to her, kicks the sand, and shouts “Mummy, she’s doing black magic!”. This swiftly descends into another argument, and into another werebadger fight.

Katrina manages to grab hold of Patty’s mum. Billy advances on Katrina with a knife, to be frozen by a spell from Elli.

Elli needs another two goes to get her spell going, with Billy telekinetically disrupting her sand, until Katrina kicks him into the garden.

Patty goes were.

Billy rushes back towards the spell, but is stopped by Patty – and Katrina restrains weremummy again. And they manage to hold them down long enough to finish the spell.

And that’s when Billy’s true demonic form is revealed. He mutters a spell to magically steal Patty’s strength, throws her off, and runs away.

Do I have any relatives you hadn’t mentioned?

In the aftermath, Patty questions her mum about any relatives she might have mentioned, and she reveals a brother who, jealous over her “connection with nature” [lycanthropy], sought out powers from dark occult corners, rather going off the rails, and disappearing.

Now Billy’s true form is known, it’s much easier to Elli to identify – as a Rhyta demon. They enjoy causing suffering and death, and are skilled in emotional control.

Mrs Hakuta also has an old photo of her brother Robin – wearing the same black/gold amulet as before. Elli identifies the amulet from her notes as a Vazerius Amulet, used for demon summoning, but it’s marked in her notes as particularly dangerous, and she’s not sure why. She sends a message to Regina, who manages to send her a message in between demonic adversaries:

Deal with the devil [summoner]

Using the two werebadger’s enhanced sense of smell, they manage to track down the estranged uncle Robin, to an abandoned hovel where he’s camping out. In between sneering and misogynistic comments, he implies the family brought his aggression on themselves, and doesn’t deny summoning the Rhyta demon to kill his relatives.

But, with a demon hoping to kill him and steal his amulet, he proposes a truce. Patty will lure the demon to somewhere it can kill Robin and use the amulet – the St. Mildrith community centre (formerly church). And together with Elli, they will trap the demon in a protective circle and banish it.

Patty finds the demon skulking around the village, and he warily accepts her offer. The demon follows Patty inside the former church when she pretends to drag Robin into it – but then lurks behind a column.

There are lots of spells slung. The demon tackles Robin, pushing him through and past the pentagram that our heroes need to keep the demon within. The mock-fighting gets real as Patty manages to grab the amulet, and is frozen by Robin. But Katrina and were-mummy (yes, she’s here too) manage to hold down the demon long enough for Elli and Robin to the complete the spell.

When Patty unfreezes, she immediately switches into were-form and advances on Robin.

But Robin Willoughby just sneers and teleports away, ready to haunt Patty’s family another day.

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The Trail of Blood

Home Invasion

When Elli returns to the hippy commune after a tutoring job, it is unusually quiet.

Because the vampires had got there first, bluffed and bullied an invite out of any flatmates that were in, and were snacking on them whilst they wait.

When Tyr, a heavily built bruiser even by the standard of a vampire gang, approaches from the kitchen, she tries to cast a spell to sap his strength – but it backfires, and at the moment of contact she collapses like a rag doll.

In the Council’s base, Regina has a vision of Elli in danger.

Before the vampire grabs her, Elli manages to mumble the retreat spell that the Pythagoreans had given her before the stake out – teleporting her to the street outside. Using telekinesis, she tries to block the flatshare door onto the street with some dumpsters, but they’re thrown aside by the vampires.

Elli takes a risk to repeat the retreat spell, and hides in the leather goods shop that (ironically) occupies the ground floor beneath the flatshare.

By now, Regina has alerted the rest of the team, called Elli, and is sharing a motorbike to the flat with watcher Matthew Parks.

Regina charges up the stairs to the flatshare, and retreats in the face of the vampires.

The rest of the team (including Nuria) arrive, and this escalates into pitched street battle, with Regina and Fergus shooting their crossbow and (holy) water pistol from inside the leather shop.

Patty swiftly turns into were form – but one of the vampires meets her claw with a stuffed badger claw, and she turns back into a human!

Regina goes into the street to cut off Tyr’s advance. Outmatched, the best she can do is hold him off, but she can’t even do that for long. She’s grabbed and about to be bitten …

… when Fergus runs up behind Tyr, and swings his sword through his neck. (Fergus was a weapons geek before he was a fighter against the supernatural).

When Try dusts, it ends Elli’s spell and restores her strength.

With Nuria’s help, and a great deal of effort, our heroes kill the other three vampires, and race back indoors and upstairs. Elli’s friends are barely conscious and have lost a lot of blood but – (because they were hostages) – are still alive.1

Although the PC’s won’t know it until they read about it in the news a few days later, this marks the effective end of X2. Their leader, Alfred, is alive, but he’s lost all its heavies – and it’s hard to maintain a climate of fear when you were shown up by a vegan food bus.

Most of Elli’s flatmates were out at a birthday party, but they soon have second thoughts about sharing a flat with someone who is mixed up in dangerous feuds with bitey drugged-up gangs, and schedule a house meeting.

Confronting the Corporation

Meanwhile, Fergus turns up more circumstantial evidence linking Bethton Abbatoir to Terralith Eco – its products turn up unusually often, for example, in the hardware and supplies used for the illicit blood trade.

They share the evidence with the Council. The Council swiftly shares it with their allies in Terralith Eco, who claim to be horrified and invite the vegan investigators over as they confront the culprit.

(By the time the PCs arrive at Terralith Eco’s offices in the City of London, Fergus has hacked into their buliding network and can control many automated systems. This is in parenthesis because you’d expect nothing less.)

The charm offensive is led by Dawn Shepherd, their “community engagement officer”, who offers to give their food bus Kickstarter double the amount of money they were looking for. Plus, as an example of the kind of devices they supply the Council with, some networked vampire-detection webcams.2

But Dawn isn’t so keen no having the entire PC team witness the arrest. Patty might have been invited. [Cannot remember] Elli casts a glamour over herself to look like a random member of staff, and Fergus sets up the camera to show a loop of the meeting room.

The Terralith Eco board goes into a basement to where their paranormal laboratories area. They admit to experiments with vampire blood, but claim to be horrified at the allegation of illicit sourcing, synthesis, and use.

They get to the large open-plan lab where the computer sits that ostensibly3 received the encrypted message from the vampire gang. The computer’s owner, startled, mutters something about not pinning this on him -

- when a swirling portal opens behind him and a large clawed demon pulls him into it.

Meanwhile, Elli gets into a fight trying to get past the guards into the lab. Patty goes were. Fergus uses his control of the building to lock and open doors to let them get out.

And they still get the donation to The Stake Out.

Epilogues

At the house meeting to discuss her status, Elli successfully argues that they’re a lot safer with her around to protect them.

Flash forward to Stake Out’s launch party, several weeks later.

Regina is going to rejoin the Council. She warns the other PCs that although the protective powers of the Shelter of the Elect won’t attract supernatural creatures to the omnibus, she might have done. Her arrival through time would have weakened the barriers between this world and others – not as much as a hellmouth, but still likely to attact some vampires and demons.

But nothing a Pythagorean and adept and a were-badger can’t deal with.

1 I expected the party to rescue hostages and run away, not fight a pitched battle. But the nice thing about the drama points system is that it gives more agency to the players: they can fight overwhelming odds and either spend a drama point to escape, or lots of drama points to pull off an odds-defying victory.

2 This is a fairly cheap and mundane device. Because vampires don’t cast a reflection, all the anti-vampire webcam needs to do is reflect half the incoming light onto a second sensor, and compare the two images.

3 Fergus was in a position to double-check this.

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The Stake Out
Showdown in a slaughterhouse

In the overgrown grounds of Bethton Abbatoir, our heroes lie waiting by the door for the X2 vampires to turn up. That’s Regina Torpington-Fortescue (Esq) (crossbow) (with Nuala the Vampire Slayer from The Council), Fergus (water pistols), Patty Hakuta (werebadger), and Eleftheria (“Elli”) (stakes).

But X2 are forewarned, and lying in wait too.

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When the first two vampires arrive, Fergus (who swings between cowardice and recklessness) decides to charge them. Our heroes swiftly fight their way through into the relative safety of the slaughterhouse. Fergus links up his supply of holy water to the sprinkler system, and with his control over the doors manages to trap the pursuing vampires in the small slaughterhouse entryhall whilst dousing them. This weakens the half-dozen vampires, but does not kill them.

This buys our heroes time to barricade themselves in a butchery/processing room. When the vampires try to break through, Elli uses a protective spell to keep them back while others run interference. One gets through, and manages to feed on were-form Patty before he’s slain; and with another fatality the vampires retreat.

This is a crime gang, not fanatical devotees of evil who care nothing for their survival.

Their leader, an old-fashioned bowler-hatted cockney, appears at the other door with the shadow humanoid (Tsoudain’a) and, apparently held hostage, Blair. He negotiates a truce – he’ll let them go if they’ll “call off the slayer”. Neither side intends to keep it, but both sides want to live to see the morning – and X2 have an ace in the hole.

On the way home, Patty, with her enhanced were-badger senses, comments on just how bad Blair smells.

But it’s when they (minus Regina) meet in the bus the next evening that Fergus notices that Blair doesn’t cast a reflection in the bus window.

“Two things”, Fergus says, firstly patiently describing the email link he’s found from X2 to Terralith Eco‘s network, before dramatically adding (with pointed finger) “and Blair is a vampire!”. Elli holds Blair in place with a spell, and Blair tries to argue his vampiric case as someone who mainly feeds on meat-eating fast food managers. (Vampires aren’t the best at making ethical arguments.) He flees the bus – through the upper window. But Patty grabs him, follows him out of the window, and transforms in mid-air.

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Elli freezes Blair in place, and Patty tears the vampire that replaced their friend to dust.

Later Fergus examines the odd cylinder that Blair was carrying. Its gradated, slowly rotating, lid seems to be counting down to something. Fergus examines it in his workshop, and discovers it’s a flask that was counting down to opening. With blood – that on further investigation is based on cow blood, but contains substances that could be addictive and willpower-sapping.

Someone seems to be trying to create a biddable army of vampires.

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Hacktivism
Researching & Planning

The characters try to get to grips with the new world they now find themselves in.

Eleftheria (“Elli”) is exhausted from the previous day’s spellcasting, and sleeps through her alarm, setting off late for her day job. This leaves Regina, who is staying with Elli at her hippy flatshare / commune, trying to work out what to do with the 21st century.

She investigates the site of the old Watcher’s Council building, to find a modern office block belonging to corporation Terralith Eco, and a plaque to the demise of the City of London Scholastic Society in 1999. With digging, this supposedly defunct organisation turns out to be the cover for the Watcher’s successor, The Council. She’s led through King’s Cross St. Pancreas underground to their base under the British Library. (QV Canon.)

The cameras that Fergus, Elli, and Blair planted in Bethton Abbatoir send back footage of staff bleeding cattle (amongst other things).

Fergus had hacked into Bethton Abbatoir‘s computer systems, and he succeeds in penetrating office networks and mobile phones before he sees a humanoid demon made of pure shadow (Tsoudain’a) spotting the camera. Not long after, Fergus is locked out of the office network.

Meanwhile, Patty Hakuta takes the lead on launching the crowdfunding campaign for the vegan food bus.

Fergus identifies when the vampires will again visit Bethton Abbatoir – the following Sunday, and so plans a stake-out with Patty, Elli, and Regina.

They invite Blair – but don’t realise that X2 have already tracked him down, ambushed him after a demo, and turned him into a vampire.

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Pilot
PCs discover each other's powers & a magic bus

Bethton Abbatoir

Fergus, Blair, and Elli investigate Bethton Abbatoir:

  • Fergus electronically picks the lock
  • They have time to investigate and discover evidence of abuse.
  • Two newcomers arrive, and they hide.
  • Their are a pair of vampires from X2, and collect blood
  • Elli realises they are vampires, and tries to warn her mundane friends.
  • After the vampires leave, the PCs go through the office
  • The office has more incriminating material, including a metal symbol of X2, and a large cash sum (£500).
  • Blair steals the money for vegan projects.

The Vegan Food Bus Organising Committee

Later that day, many of the same people meet to talk about plans for a new vegan food bus, along with other involved volunteers. Patty knows that an existing food bus, ‘Roast Coach’, is looking to sell.

Before long, they start noticing translucent coloured giant serpents following them out of the corner of their eyes. They don’t know it yet, but these are Osarlox tracking Demons, sent by X2 to track down their money.

Patty leads the investigation of the potential bus, and its reputation:

  • As being haunted by the “blue lady”
  • And being home to a series of failed ventures, all with very bad food reviews.

So Elli conducts a seance in Duxton Castle to talk to the ghostly “blue lady” (with Fergus and Patty. (Elli’s ability to cast spells stopped being a surprise at around the same time they starting being chased by transparent serpents.) But she doesn’t find the blue lady. Instead her spell summons local Victorian ghost Mary Ellis, who recounts her life story and insists the ‘blue lady’, seen floating around the bus ever since it got here, is not a ghost but something else.

Fight vs Serpents

Blair reports being chased by the serpents, and he (and they) converge on Duxton Castle. In the ensuing fight:

When the demons have been fought off, the ‘blue lady’ introduces herself as Regina Torpington-Fortescue (Esq), identifying the creature formerly known as Patty Hakuta as a Were-badger.

Were-Patty isn’t aggressive. Elli uses a glamour to disguise her as a large dog, and follow her to a park where she digs a large sett. When Patty recovers she is surprised to discover that turning into a large animal when angry isn’t actually that normal.

Vegan cupcakes don’t wait for supernatural revelations, and the vegan food bus organisers (Patty, Elli, Fergus, and some others) decide to buy the bus. And so that’s where they are (with Regina, who has many questions about the 100+ years she missed) when X2 catch up with them.

Fight vs Vampires

A half-dozen vampires attack the bus through the front door. But our heroes quickly discover that when their blows land on vampires, they only hurt themselves. And that that the same goes from the vampires themselves to the point where one of them manages to dust themselves.

The vampires retreat, both demanding the handover of the thief (Blair), and offering a peace treaty (“I’m a businessman”), but perplexed.

Regina, who combines a sixth sense with a mastery of arcane lore, suggests that the artefact The Shelter of the Elect, which was protecting her in 19th century India, somehow got incorporated into the (Indian) bus, which would explain why she materialised there. The artefact’s strong protection against violence might even affect food preparation – it senses an omnivorous dish as an act of violence, albeit a smaller one, for which the pushback is merely spoiling the dish.

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